One in a million

Where shall the world be found?

Where shall the word resound?

Not here, there is not enough silence.

T. S. Eliot.

Loneliness and clatter are not our only alternatives. We can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfilment... Solitude is more a state of mind and heart than it is a place. If we process inward solitude we do not fear being alone, for we know that we are not alone. Neither do we fear being with others, for they do not control us. In the midst of noise and confusion we are settled in a deep inner silence. Whether alone or amongst people, we always carry with us a portable sanctuary of the heart... Simply to refrain from talking without a heart listening to God, is not silence.

Richard Foster

To be one, in a million of other people. Amidst the strivings and the stress, to be at peace. To listen to God's soundtrack to life over the chaotic booming of humdrum. People talk about 'tuning in' to God. I think they're right. It's a choice. To listen to yourself, to listen to others, or to let him speak. To hear his still small voice in the eye of the storm. To be found. That is my desire.

Awakening

I am waking up. Not in the conscious, rising from the depths of sleep sense, but more like an awakening of myself. The last few years have brought with them so many turbulent times, that I have become a bundle of questions, doubts and unanswered questions. In the slow, painful quest for answers, I seem to have lost a sense of peace about God's role in it all. The God I used to trust implicitly suddenly changed, and became unpredictable. Or so I thought. The promises He had made were lost in the breaking. And my identity lost with it.

Until recently.

It's almost like the slow and steady dawn, rising from starless skies, and rays of light exploding across the horizon. I feel like today, for the first time, I saw the sun. A tiny inkling of the excitement faith used to be came to me, and captured my gaze. A small shimmer of light in the dim bleakness of the ordinary. In the light of the Cross of Calvary my doubts are laid bare. In the face of Jesus are all the answers I ever searched for, and more. All of a sudden a glimmer of hope breaks through-life can be what I dreamt it would be.

Love Came Down

Love is a mighty power, a great and complete good; Love alone lightens every burden, and makes the rough places smooth. It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders every bitterness sweet and acceptable. The love of Jesus is noble, and inspires us to do great deeds, it moves us always to desire perfection. Love aspires to high things, and is held back by nothing base. Love longs to be free, a stranger to every worldly desire, lest its inner vision become dimmed, and lest worldly self-interest hinder it or ill-fortune cast it down. Nothing is sweeter than love, nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing wider, nothing more pleasant, nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of God and can rest only in God, above all created things.


Love flies, runs and leaps for joy; it is free and unrestrained. Love gives all for all, resting in One who is highest above all things, from whom every good flows and proceeds. Love does not regard the gifts but turns to the giver of all good gifts. Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds. Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil, attempts things beyond its strength; love sees nothing as impossible for it feels able to achieve all things. Love therefore does great things; it is strange and effective; while he who lacks love faints and fails.


Love is watchful, and while resting never sleeps; weary, it is never exhausted; imprisoned; it is never in bonds; alarmed, it is never afraid; like a living flame and a burning torch, it surges upward and surely surmounts every obstacle... Love is swift, pure, tender, joyful, and pleasant. Love is strong, patient, faithful, prudent, long-suffering, vigorous, and never self seeking. For when a man is self-seeking he abandons love. Love is watchful, humble, and upright. Love is not fickle and sentimental, nor is it intent on vanities. It is sober, pure, steadfast, quiet, and guarded in all the senses. Love is submissive and obedient to superiors, mean and contemptible in its own sight, devoted and thankful to God, trusting and hoping in Him even when not enjoying His sweetness; for none can live in love without suffering.

Thomas a Kempis

The Road Not Taken

I shall be telling this with a sigh,

Somewhere ages and ages hence,
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference.

The final stanza of Robert Frost's 'The Road Not Taken' says it all.

At a time of so many choices, decisions and roads diverging off from one another, it's easy to feel bewildered at the prospect of having to decide ultimately which road to follow. Does your decision for the next year affect the rest of your life, will it entail detours which take you away from your goal, do you even have a goal? These are the questions that plague the mind. Every time you feel able to finally decide on something concrete, a sudden doubt creeps in... and before you know it you're off again for another week of wondering what to do with the time you've been given. How can you possibly know what the future will hold from now?

I wonder if Robert Frost had it right. From this perspective we can't know where our choices will lead us, but in a few decades time we will be recounting our lives, and the decisions we make now will determine what stories we will have to tell, and which stories we will wish we could have told. What about all those things you've dreamt of doing? What would happen if you actually did them? What would happen if you didn't... I suppose the paradox is that whilst we long to know our future, we can't. And as often said, even if we did it probably wouldn't give us peace. We can never know if the road we take will lead to where we ultimately want to go. But then, maybe it will take us somewhere even better.

I suppose that's why Frost talks about taking the 'road less travelled', because that is the greater risk. Whether the allusion was merely to a walk through a wood, or whether it has deeper philosophical implications for living, I'm not sure. But one thing I do know, is that the road less travelled is probably the one to take. Take the road that arouses your curiosity, awakens your dreams, and stretches your faith. It will probably be daunting, it might lead through some valleys, and there may be ogres to fight... but... just maybe, it will be worth it. It might make you who you're meant to be.