Last week there was an article in The Independent, in which relationship expert Jenni Trent Hughes states, ' We may no longer be knights in shining armour or damsels in distress, but we still want and need romance - it is part of our emotional DNA.' The more I muse over this, the more I am convinced that she is right. Perhaps not in the sense of the 'romance' which is immediately conjured in the mind's eye, but the real kind of romance. That which takes the knight in shining armour and the damsel in distress and removes from it the dated and cliched, leaving behind the heroic, chivalric, impossible quest in pursuit of the heart of another. Leaving in its very essence an adventure.
Having asked a few friends how they would define it, I received the following responses. One stated that it is 'little gestures when you least expect them', another 'the intentional pursuit of one by the other' and finally, 'being made to feel like you're the most amazing person to someone else using whatever comes to hand, be it candles and music or poetry, or simply a shared knowing look'. I love the different facets of romance depicted by each thought, but am particularly struck by the second, 'the intentional pursuit of one by the other'. This captures the sense of adventure I was talking about earlier. It also speaks of romance as an action. This is ultimately the conclusion I have reached, that romance is an action, grammatically speaking it is a verb. Something which one does, rather than something that simply is. It suggests that romance, although it may include them, is more than simply a feeling. More than a candlelit dinner, a serenade, a single rose, a mix tape or a moonlit walk. Romance is when you see something in someone else which whispers to you that it was always meant to be a part of you, and it is what you do to go out and pursue that.
I love this quote by John Eldredge in the Sacred Romance, which speaks of God's incredible pursuit of our hearts. John writes, 'Someone or something has romanced us from the beginning with creek-side singers and pastel sunsets, with the austere majesty of snowcapped mountains and the poignant flames of autumn colours telling us of something - or someone- leaving, with a promise to return.' Isn't that beautiful? It's an incredible image.
I was speaking with a friend tonight about God's plan and his timing, and we were commenting on the intricacy of this. On my drive to work on Friday I was stopped at a set of traffic lights, and feeling a little head-full, I paused to look at a tree by the roadside. Something I have been trying to train myself in, and to be honest, most of the time it comes naturally, is the ability to find beauty in everything. So, I challenge myself to stop and fully absorb what is right before my eyes, be it a fading sunset or a tree silhouetted against a gloomy winter skyline. On this particular morning it was a tree just by the side of the road, set against a sky which was definitely threatening rain. I paused just long enough to absorb the arch of the branches, the small bird finding refuge on one of the outermost branches, the graceful curvature of the trunk as the tree wound higher and higher. By the time the lights had turned green and it was time to drive on, my soul had been stilled, and my mind had been awakened to the presence of God. I was explaining to my friend how incredible that was, that the very mundane surroundings we face everyday can be a stunning reminder of God's presence. That the intricacies of that tree were in the mind of God at creation, long before the first sign of a sapling had burst from the earth. My friend then commented that in fact, more amazing than this, was the fact that God knew that one day that tree by the side of the road, bereft of leaf and life, would be a source of encouragement to me, and a reminder of his presence. And perhaps, when he created that very tree, he had that very purpose in mind.
The very idea of God romancing us is mind-blowing, and one that needs much more thought. It reminded me of a passage in Hosea, where the people of Israel have been unfaithful to God, and the previous part of the chapter is Hosea's rebuke to the Israelites. Then, it says this. 'Therefore I am now going to allure her, I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.' Hosea 2:14. The God I see in the Bible is one who again and again and again pursues us. He sees in us, out of his breathtaking grace, something which he longs to be in relationship with. He sees in us something worthy of pursuit. And he gives his all in our pursuit. It is definitely an idea which is going to take some more thought, and a greater depth of study, but even in the beginnings of understanding this notion, I am blown away by the very magnitude of God who romances us.
