Sunday 21 September 2008

Pilgrim Lost

What if I don't fit...?

What if I get there at the end of all this, and find my life too big, too tall, too proud of itself to bow down to his.

Will I hasten to grovel, to dig in my dirt, to face the face of infinity I daily sought to avert? What if all of my theories, and all of my joys, and all of my pains are nothing but toys? If my seeking for known-ness was never to know, and for all my attempting have nothing to show… what then?

Radiating humility, unimaginable light, surely compel me towards fight, not flight. What if they don’t? How could I possible conceive a life inside eternity, yet daily choose to die for so much less. All my plethora of excuses can’t conceal this self made mess.

If the gap is too small, what will I miss… the meeting of his humanity with divinity’s kiss. Yet even this is so far from the worst.

If in all of my dreaming I still see myself.

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