Tuesday 26 April 2011

Pink Grapefruits and Friends

So, three days into my little exercise of writing each day, and oddly enough, the first post. The first, written under the apple tree in our garden at home, is saved on my Mum's laptop, and I'm awaiting its arrival by email. The second, well, it is still in my head. However, today, I have something else on my mind so I'm writing about that. The rest will follow retrospectively.

Today has been a good day. Considering I was dreading it, for reasons I won't disclose here, it was a very good day. I didn't manage to have breakfast (a secondary part of my post Easter challenge - funny how I didn't do anything for Lent this year and am now churning out the challenges as soon as it is over. Mind you, Lent was never supposed to be about that, but anyway) but that is always something I'll find difficult. I just don't feel hungry in the mornings. I think tomorrow I might buy a grapefruit. A pink grapefruit. I didn't like them at all growing up, but after watching so many people devour them over the years, I decided this was a fruit I must master. So, I ate half a pink grapefruit one day. Then the other half the next day. Before long I too became a 'eat-it-with-a-spoon' pink grapefruit devourer. I wonder if one day someone will look at me and wonder whether they should try to like pink grapefruits. Probably not.

Following breakfast came work, which passed quite quickly today, something I was grateful for. The first day back after a long weekend is always more of a challenge! Then after work I met Annie at Nandos. I love Nandos. No matter how often we have been to eat there together, we always choose the exact same thing on the menu (to share, of course!) chicken wings (lemon and herb for Annie), salad, olives, chips and halloumi cheese! Tonight we splashed out on red pepper dip too... yum! We sat in a booth, and we talked. It was incredibly good to just take lots of time to eat, talk, reflect and laugh. It was something we used to do a lot when we were doing our teacher training, after being placed in the same school we'd drive over to Starbucks every day, plan our lessons, drink delicious coffee or Earl Grey tea, eat cake and debrief the days events. The journey there having drained the frustrations already (we used to call it the 'car of honesty' for all the secrets that were disclosed there!!) It felt great to take some time out to do that again.

Then I came home, had a think, and phoned Lucy.  We talked for almost two hours, about life and work, reminiscing about the past and probing the future. It's been too long since I've seen Lucy, but I am incredibly grateful for her friendship over the years, and her unfailing interest in my thoughts and concerns. I love that we're about as crazy as each other, so neither of us has to worry that the other thinks she is mad. However, you'd think, with twenty five years of living in your own heart, mind, soul and body, that you'd understand yourself, wouldn't you? Yet, how is it possible to still be having conversations with friends, and be asked the question, 'but surely you knew you felt that way?' or 'is that news to you?' about various things, or to have it pointed out to you that the thing you're actually concerned about is the one thing you're not voicing. How well we think we know ourselves, but how far we are from the truth. No wonder it takes a lifetime to know another person, when you don't even know yourself... in fact, in some ways, the older I get, the more I surprise myself. Thankfully there are a few amazing people around me who understand me better than I understand myself. Today, I am grateful for friends who have the perception to see in me what I can't see, and the grace to point it out to me so that I can live wisely.

To Annie and Lucy, thank you. I will buy you a grapefruit each. A pink one. If you like them.

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